How to disappear in America

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I found myself fascinated with this*: Vanishing Point: How to disappear in America without a trace
An excerpt:

What you want to do is make your new life to the point where if you're ever caught, your employer, friends, and neighbors will express disbelief when the cops haul you away. While getting caught shouldn't be part of your goals, you should consider the possibility and plan accordingly.
This is very important if you build a new family: Your wife or husband should be told who you really are before you get married. Since you're working to become a respectable, productive member of society, your prospective spouse should know your past before you get married!
Finding out your real name isn't Michael Johnson after five years of marriage won't help your wife maintain support for you when the cops come to haul you away. Letting her know you're on the run and for why you're on the run before hand means that you'll have support if they ever do find you.

*Note: This has nothing to do with my mysterious vacation next week. I promise. ;)

Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day

Sealed Air Celebrates Bubble Wrap® Appreciation Day

Now get popping!

Live from Iraq…

Mark Cuban announces that his high definition TV network, HDNet, will begin broadcasting 8 hours of live (unedited) feed from Baghdad each day.

A snippet:

We have absolutely no idea what will happen. But its the first taste of democracy in Iraq, ever. HDNet viewers will have a clearer view of what happens than most Iraqis.

mmm... suuuuushi. :)

donuts : homer :: sushi : linda

Most everyone who knows me can tell you "Linda doesn't do buffets". Even weddings. Sorry folks. I just have a problem with eating food that has been exposed to other people.

As is usually the case, I have discovered an exception to this rule.

Until a dinner date suggested we go to Ru San's last September, I had been bagging offers to go to the all-you-can-eat sushi lunch for months. I mean, it's sushi - it should be made fresh and within sight as soon as I order it. Right?

Well... in theory.

Then I watched them prepare the sushi for the next day's lunch while I ate dinner at Ru San's. It just looked so good. Maybe it's because Ru Sans sushi is so good, it can handle being prepared 12 hours ahead of time and saran wrapped in the fridge. All I know is I've yet to turn down a lunch there ever since.

Including our "bachelor" lunch today - I mean, what guy wouldn't want one of his last memories of bachelorhood to include all you can eat sushi, techno adaptations of Bon Jovi songs, and 5 fabulous women?

It's the Friday diversion

The Heretical Rhyme Generator

Here's the poem I "created" especially for you:

Have a great weekend, my faithful blog readers

I don't like chicken noodle or even beef stew

'cause i have nothin' else ta do

So that you may spew

Have at it!

For a good time...

Call me - my phone number can be found starting at position 7,895,004 to the right of the decimal point in PI. :)

Monday, August 31, 2020

According to The Death Clock, that's my expiration date. Guess I can quit contributing and cash in on my 401(k) and cancel my long term care policy.

Anyone up for an extended trip to the Caribbean? How about Metropolis?

Worst movies of all time

I don't know if I'm more proud that I've only seen three of the IMDb's bottom 100 movies, or if I'm embarrassed by the three I have seen:

34. It's Pat (1994)
49. Teen Wolf Too (1987)
77. Jaws 3-D (1983)

So Long, Johnny

Just got through watching The Tonight Show.

Mr. Leno, you sir are no Johnny Carson.

Quote of the night - Drew Carey to Leno: "You know, when you die, they're not going to do all of this for you."

How timely

Thank you, Hugh.

How's this for proof?

I may have successfully made it through the (work portion) of this God-awful day. After a hectic morning, I had 4 back-to-back meetings after lunch, then realized at 5:00 that I still had to file my weekly status report before heading out. I also had over a dozen emails in my inbox that needed to at least be looked at and prioritized, if not acted upon before I was free to leave.

While skimming through my emails, I found one that had been a conversation between my boss and a project manager in our department, until he added me to a final "reply". One of his responses earlier in the chain of messages read:

Sure... as long as we inflict the pain on Linda.

Better get back to my inbox and take care of the rest of things so I can head out of here and get back early tomorrow. I'm sure it's slated to be the second worst day of the year... What was the formula again?

It's all downhill from here.

Hey kids, hope you enjoy the weekend, because Monday is going to suck.

Signs

In the 10 years I've lived here, I have often been amused by the sign at 65 and Armory that read, "Nashville School of Law" and "School of Ballet". No more.

I noticed today that the "School of Ballet" has been removed.

So where can Nashvillians go to learn to dance around the law?

On the same outing this afternoon, I was reminded of the annoying street sign at the corner of 23rd and Sterling (just south of Sharondale):

23th Ave South.

That's just wrong. I mean, who made the sign and thought, "Yeah, that looks good?". Good thing I don't live on that street, or drive through more than every few weeks. I just can't believe the people who live there haven't asked to have it fixed.

Then again, I guess there are more important things to worry about. Like tonight's game.

Please fax us your telephone number so we can call you and get your mailing address

I received the following email today:

Dear Letter Writer,

I am a fact checker for [magazine name]. We received your letter regarding your [what I wrote about]. Your letter is in the running to be included in the magazine or online.

We make it a point to place phonecalls to all of our letter writers to make sure that we have the correct first and last name, city and state, and the correct information in the letter. Is there a way I can reach you during the day to verify your information? If you prefer, you can call me at [phone number].

Thank you so much for your time! I look forward to hearing from you!

I emailed back my work number, and she immediately called me to confirm my information. I didn't ask her this, but why didn't the email message just list out my name, home town, what I submitted and ask me to reply back with confirmation or correction?

Simplicity people.

Oh - and once I know whether I'm actually published or just an online supplement, I'll reveal more information!

Let's see how long it takes

I have a feeling today's comments are going to bring in a lot of disappointed Googlers.

This week's Friday diversion

Spamusement

"Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!"

One of my favorites:

1-4 extra inches makes a massive difference

Mailbag Q&A - take 4

I posted this yesterday, but it never showed up...

----------

OK - I'm being harassed because I haven't answered my mailbag questions lately.

Sorry... I didn't think you really cared. As usual, email me any questions (to be answered at my discretion).

----------

Q: How's the learning Spanish thing going?

A: Well, I have mastered my first lesson. That is, until I have a couple of beers and start getting confused. I think I'll go ahead and keep repeating the first one until I know it drunk. Because if my first visit to Mexico was an indication, I will most likely be drinking when attempting to speak Spanish.

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Q: Who do you like in the SuperBowl? You putting money down? You watching it at E?

A: That's 3 questions... But here were go. Steelers - and I'll put money only on squares. I have a history of really good luck on SuperBowl Squares. Will I watch it at E? Dunno yet. Things are changing there, and I haven't decided if I need to find a new hangout yet. I'm discussing things with management... I'll keep you posted.

----------

Q: What's with the house/pet sitting? You don't strike me as that type.

A: And that type would be...? It's not like I'm a serial pet-sitter. I watch Pookie for Alan when he travels because it's no big deal. Yeah, my commute is a little longer (Williamson County to the airport area is NOT a fun drive to make on a regular basis), but she's a good cat. For the most part. My adopted dog/child over Christmas was a favor to Peach, as her regular doggie spa was already booked. As I have difficulty keeping my one plant alive and well, I'm not sure why either thought of me. ;)

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Q: Where is your upcoming vacation?

A: It's not a vacation to, but a vacation from. I just haven't taken time off work. I'm planning multiple day-spa visits. Lunch with friends I don't get to see often. Maybe a day trip to the casino. Maybe another day trip to visit my very own barrel of Maker's Mark as it ages up there in Kentucky...

3 and 1 in the Big 10

Woo-hoo.

I knew it!

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. -- The Big Ten has admitted an officiating error that could have cost Indiana a game it won in double overtime at Purdue last weekend.

Those were the days

Remember back in school when they took the slow kids out of the normal classes and we didn't have to deal with them?

They really need to do that in software training classes.

I know. I'm going to hell.

no entiendo

For no other reason than I'm bored, I'm learning to speak Spanish. That's my first lesson up there in the title. Well, part of the first lesson. The part I remember.

Obviously, this is nothing formal - just a CD in my car.

At least now I can justify talking to myself while driving. :)

Winding down a 3 day weekend

Don't want to think about going to work tomorrow, but had a good weekend.

Let's not discuss Friday night - a little too much drama for me. But, my boys won Saturday and so did the Steelers.

Caught a band Saturday evening (they're really big in Germany...), and had a full day Sunday with lunch with mom, football, more football, and Mitch stopping by for dinner on his way to Hotlanta.

Spent today catching up on loose ends and more mom time (I think I'm good for a couple of weeks)... and now it's just wind down for the evening and get ready for the work week.

Why can't every weekend be three days? It's not like I'm going to do any less work over the next four days than I usually do in a normal week.

Just a thought.

Apology

I just want to apologize for my last post. The Catholic guilt is setting in. I don't usually talk that way.

But, we won. :)
--------------------------
Sent from Linda's BlackBerry

hoo hoo hoo Hoosiers!

Holy fucking mother of hell, we won.

In double overtime.

Today's Friday diversion

The Bubble Wrap Popping Machine

Although "Addictive" is fun, the "Normal" setting is more true to life - and almost as satisfying.

This even includes those "dud" bubbles that go "pfft" instead of "pop".

It's Friday!

Although I won't bore you with the details (again), I'm really looking forward to this week being over. That, and 3-day weekend.

My Hoosiers have their big in-state rivalry game this weekend (and it's nationally televised, folks, so roll out of bed by 11:00 and cheer them on). Pookie and I will be watching while we enjoy our mimosas.

My analysis

So, while in training today, I found this file that I saved while on a flight a while ago.

My Tablet PC has an application that will analyze your handwriting.

My results (and do I need to tell you I think they are pretty accurate?):

Attitude
You have a neutral attitude about your future. You neither procrastinate nor hurry. You are self-confident and logical, and focus on the present. You enjoy physical and hands-on activities.

Mental Ability
You learn slowly, by repetition. You begin with the most fundamental parts, skip nothing, and do not jump around. You make decisions very carefully.

Communication
You keep your innermost thoughts to yourself. However, you enjoy discussions and are receptive to other opinions. You can be deceitful to yourself.

Goals
You set ambitious, long-term goals, though sometimes vague. Fortunately, you have strong will power, enthusiasm, endurance, and self-confidence, helping you to achieve those goals.

Self Image
You are confidant and self-assured, and resultantly set ambitious, long-term goals. You are not concerned with the opinions of others.

Emotional
You are a cautious person who thinks carefully before acting. You keep feelings inside and do not express them openly, in order to protect yourself. However, you can be empathetic and sympathetic, and forgive and forget quickly.

Social Skills
You enjoy having a variety of friends, but sometimes you are frustrated with them. At times you feel isolated.

Oh yeah...

I wasn't supposed to complain about work.

Oops.

Seriously, though. We're training on what seems to be an incredibly powerful tool for our developers. Except, the trainer showed up and spent 2 hours delivering a PowerPoint presentation.

Then, when she was asked if we would be receiving hands-on training, she replied that she didn't have the disks to install the software on our machines.

Then, when we got the software installed, we couldn't actually use the application because the laptops have wireless network cards & this conference room has a lousy wireless signal.

Coupled with the fact that the training laptops are dinosaurs, it has not been the most productive day. Can'’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. :)

I really wish Blogger supported ink...

...because it would be a little more believable that I'm actively participating in my training class right now if it looked like I was scribbling notes on my Tablet PC and not using the input panel.

But, considering my boss is 2 seats away & I walked away from the crappy training laptop they had set me up with over 20 minutes ago, I don't think I'm fooling anyone.

At least the person responsible for scheduling this already apologized to me. That's more than I usually get around here.

Sorry kids...

Hate to be boring, but I'm not about to keep whining about work, and that's really all I have to talk about right now. Especially after the meeting I just left. If I were a cartoon character, there would be steam coming out of my ears right now.

Anyway, as of this evening, I'm going to hang out with Pookie for a week, so maybe she'll come up with some new (interesting?) adventures. We're not going to relive that one, though. I now know enough to shut the door while I'm in the tub. :)

Interesting, but drinking's more fun...

According to The Promise of Sleep, pages 231-232:

The comparison between sleep deprivation and alcohol intoxication is striking in this regard. Researchers in Australia have found that there is more than just a surface similarity between the two. The Australian investigators split 40 volunteers into two groups. One group was kept awake for 28 hours, from 8:00 A.M. until 2:00 P.M. the next day. The other group was given 10 to 15 grams of alcohol every 30 minutes starting at 8:00 A.M., until each volunteer’s blood alcohol level reached 0.1 percent, which is more than legally drunk in most locales. During these periods, both groups were given hand-eye coordination tests. The Australian researchers found that after 17 hours awake (at 1:00 A.M., when biological alerting is declining), the sleep-deprived group had the same test scores as drinking volunteers who had blood-alcohol levels of 0.05 percent. After 24 hours awake, the sleep-deprived group had the same coordination deficits as those with the maximum blood-alcohol level, 0.1 percent.

Sunday evening

Just got home from watching BB at the Bluebird, and let me tell you, that girl ROCKS! Even though her second song made me cry and Peach figured out who part of the inspiration was...

Anyway.

Good weekend.

My boys won (woo-hoosiers!).

Time to get to thinking about work.

TGIF

Anyone want to hear me complain about my job any more?

Anyone?

No, I didn't think so. Maybe I should go home and talk to my plant.

Moving on...

Big weekend plans for me - decided against going to the Frist this evening, since I'll be out most of Saturday watching the playoffs and the IU/Wisconsin game (yeah, I know, it's not going to be pretty -- I'm a glutton for punishment, I guess). And Sunday, BB's playing the Bluebird.

Friday diversion

For those of us who do not have snow (or the necessary equipment):

Write your name in the snow

How 'bout that?

I was wondering why SO many people were coming to my site after searching for "anesthesia failure" on Google (no quotation marks required).

(As of right now) I'm the #1 result!

Note to self: I like my job

This week, I have had to keep reminding myself that I enjoy what I do for a living, because this first work week of 2005 has been absolutely hellacious.

Early in the week, most of my hell was caused by the fact that my boss just returned from a three-week vacation in Australia, and as a result, we had a lot to review. As a result of our review, I received quite the "to do" list.

Then - yesterday happened. I don't want to get specific, but if you really know me and about my work, ask me in person or via email and I'll fill you in.

Let's just say that there is an electronic process that generates revenue for my company. Yesterday, it was discovered this process hasn't worked in over 6 weeks. An investigation begins.

Let's also say there's an email message sent out that encourages this revenue-generating process to occur oh, once a quarter. And that message went out this morning.

And, let's say that even if the process had been working, the links in the email messages were incorrectly formatted and would not have worked anyway.

There are MANY levels of "how did this happen?" here, including, but not limited to:

Why wasn't the broken process found out before 6 weeks had lapsed?
Why weren't the parties responsible for discovering the break aware an email message was going out today?
Why weren't the parties responsible for sending the email message aware the break had been discovered?
Why wasn't the broken process re-discovered during the testing of the email message?
Why weren't the incorrect links discovered as well?

What's making things worse for me is that although none of this is my responsibility, I feel like I should have been able to keep all of this from happening, even though I have been working myself into the ground long before the problem began and have no business taking ownership of things "just to be safe". Up until 6 months ago, I would have.

Now, I'm just counting down the minutes until happy hour (less than 90, if traffic is decent) and the days until my vacation (29).

Site of the day... or season

firemikedavis.com

Do I need to say more?

Teddyport

TeddyPort: Helping nannies and babysitters get through the day since 2003. (via J-Walk)

IU opens Big 10 season ...

tonight against Northwestern.

Go Hoosiers!

I'm that girl

from Gaping Void

Accidental revenge

Unintentional? Yes.

Still sweet? Absolutely.

There is a person who works on the other side of my cube wall who has a few annoying habits. These include, but are not limited to, eating at his desk (and making some pretty disturbing sounds while so doing) and speaking Mandarin on the phone (I mean, come on, how am I supposed to eavesdrop?).

I just realized my blackberry has been lying on my desk set on vibrate all day and has been buzzing away. What a HORRIBLE sound. :)

TiVo to go

If you have a networked TiVo Series2 DVR and your computer meets the requirements, you can now download your recorded shows from your TiVo to your computer (and then to a DVD).

If you don't, let me know, and I'll see what I can do for you. :)

Mailbag Q&A - 3rd edition

Q: Any New Year's Resolutions?

A: Sure. I will not eat chocolate, french fries, or drink a domestic light beer this year.

----

Q: Who's John?

A: I've been dating John since September, after his sister spent 10 months chasing me down and telling me I HAD to meet her brother. She was right. I'm glad we met. :)

----

Q: How's work?

A: Don't ask.

New Year's Day

If I'm remembering correctly, I just made it through my mother's 26th New Year's Day brunch. Ever since I was in the first grade, Mom has invited a slew of people over on New Year's Day at noon, and greeted them with bloody mary's, screwdrivers, and champagne punch. Brunch consists of ham, omelets, pasta salad, layered jello salad (yes, in green, white and red - don't ask how she makes the white layer), fruit salad, bread, cheese, and all the baked goodies she made over the season. Since mom has been in the south, she's expanded the menu to include black-eyed peas for luck.

After brunch, there's a "dirty Santa" gift exchange, and people start filing out. I managed to leave today's brunch with not one, but two gifts (and both are keepers), and my usual to-go container of pasta salad. I also got away with making only two bloody mary's. Somehow, while in college, I picked up the art of bloody mary making and it has plagued me for many years, where I have spent the majority of my time at the brunch making one after another of my special concoctions.

I'm determined to finish my productive weekend and start out the first week of the new year with an empty laundry hamper and a clean house. Depending on my plans this evening and how long I linger at E after tomorrow's games, I just may make it.

Happy New Year.