Thursday, November 16, 2006

My pity party - feel free to join in or just ignore me

I decided to come home for lunch (and by lunch, I mean that pumpkin pie shake I picked up at Jack in the Box) rather than join in the company's Thanksgiving potluck. Nothing personal, for those of you who may work with me, but I have a problem eating food that other people cooked, especially if I don't know them very well. Prove to me that you wash your hands thoroughly, have no pets with hair and keep separate cutting boards for meat and vegetables, and I'll think about it.

I'm trying really hard to pretend it's not true, but I think I'm getting sick. I have this frog in my throat. He's not the type that makes my voice croaky, though. This guy is the type of frog with razor-sharp claws. And as he's hanging on for dear life, he's slicing up my throat, making it uncomfortable to swallow. And when I do try to swallow, he swells up his fat little body, releasing some sort of poison, making sure I realize he's still there.

Remind me to stop by Walgreen's on my way back to work so I can pick up something to numb it. I've already dropped a container of mom's homemade hot spiced (some people call it Russian) tea mix in my purse - you know - the kind made with instant tea, tang, lemonade, cloves and cinnamon. I think it might make the afternoon a little more bearable.

And my ears itch. Way deep inside. Using a Q-tip does NOT help. Although it does feel really good.

Yep. I'm one of those "If I were on a deserted island, I'd want my Q-tips" people.

That's all I got.


Anonymous said...

I want you to feel better very quickly. Do hope Joe doesn't catch it, you know if he does, it'll be worse than anything anyone ever had in their entire lives.



Smed said...

Hey there! I'm not that great at pitch ins either, but I do attend. But I make sure I eat mostly what I brought.

The creeping crud has hit BFE land, but I think the worst is over. Stay well!

Do you think I should set Pac Man Jones up with a single friend of mine? I hear he's quite the ladies man.

Cole said...

I think I said something similar to you last year, but I am SO with you on the office potluck parties. I always find a way to make myself scarce at those things. I mean, who knows what the hell those people are doing in their kitchens/homes!

We've got a guy at work (who's nice as can be) that is always trying to force his wife's goodies on me. Like to the point of harassing me about it. I don't have the heart to tell him it ain't gonna happen and to leave me the hell alone.

Anyway, hope you're feeling better real soon. I know how the whole being sick thing really sucks...

Nicole said...

ooooh. I love Q-Tips too. and NOT the generic kind. real, honest-to-goodness Q-Tips.

dp said...

That's why I pick up only the catered-in food and food that was purchased at Kroger or Publix and clearly labeled (i.e. cornbread, veggies from the veggie tray, etc.) Because I'm also with you and Cole on the whole "who knows what these people have in their kitchens" thing. yikes.

Feel better.